söndag 4 januari 2009

Där mina tankar är.


Har varit på avskedsmiddag hos min familj utanför Nablus. Möten, demonstrationer, maillistor, läsa bloggar, kontakt med media, ringa emellan regionerna för att koordinera, handla mat, åka service, mer möten, clashes på västbanken...allt hamnar i bakgrunden för tiden framför nyheterna på TV:n, långa stunder sittandes rakt upp och ner, tänker på människorna i Gaza. Människor, hör ni det?

By Sharon in Gaza
5.30pm: at Ramattan media office. Shelling has noticeably increased in the city in the last hours. Rumours increase that the Israeli Occupation Force will begin the land incursion tonight. We hear that a mosque in Beit Lahia has been attacked during the prayer time just past, resulting in 50 injured and maybe 10 dead. We decide to head immediately to Jabalia’s Red Crescent Ambulance Operations Centre, which is a walk from F’s house which the family has left.

6pm: When we arrive, there is an air of chaos and anxiety, as the ambulance workers have just finished dealing with the mosque injuries which included children. Explosions are constant and nearby. We understand that these are now coming from tanks shelling the area from the other side of the border, a new development.

7pm: Some semblance of calm has returned to the Centre but not the surroundings. A magnesium rocket (we understand this is designed to set things on fire) lands in the field beside the Centre. The explosions continue through the whole night without pause, rocking the building. We can see many people leaving the area on foot. We hear a water tank is destroyed.

7.30: Ambulances called out. We are unable to pass a huge crater in the road into which a car has already nosedived. Taking the long way round, we collect a man in traditional dress, in his 60s, from what seems to be his family farm. He is bleeding from the face and very frightened. On the way to Karmel Adwan hospital a particularly close explosion rocks the van. I mustn’t have jumped enough, beacuse the driver mimes “did you hear that?” to me. I am beginning to realise Palestinians are fond of rhetorical questions, such as “how do you find Gaza at the moment?”

8pm: We collect a man in his 30s from a family house in a main street. He is continually bleeding from the face near his eye and also has wounds to his hand and upper and lower legs. He has made makeshift bandages for himself. We take him to Al Awda hospital. On the way back we pick up a woman and her daughter who are in danger having gone to collect water.

8.20: Bread and tea at the Centre. Ambulances called out.

8.40: Medic worries “we are taking too long; ten minutes.” However at our dangerous and darkened destination no-one arrives in response to the ambulance loudspeaker, the electricity lines are down, and smoke fills the air. The ambulances retreat, describing it as a no-go area. Immediately beside it, a peasant family of about 10 emerge from the smoke, looking bewildered. Some of the children are crying, everyone is holding tight to each other’s hands. One woman is pregnant. The medics shout at them to leave the area, then decide to evacuate them in the ambulances. We drop them in the nearest town, to go god knows where.

8.55: we hear the Israeli army has crossed the border - in Rafah, in Gaza centre near Bureij camp, and here in Jabalia. We hear Israel has told the Red Cross (the communication medium) that people must evacuate to a distance of 1km in this area. I glimpse a teapot and tea but we are called out again.

9.10: We collect a young woman and an older. I am not sure what the issue is, although the younger woman appears pregnant. We deliver them to Al Awda hospital where we are given tea. H, one of the medics, tells me about his 3 children and his wife, who is very worried about him.

9.30: Back to the Centre for short period of quiet (except for the noise.) Our driver has decided he likes me because my beret reminds him of Che Guevara. He is driving with his arm in plaster.

10pm: Ambulances called out. A family of about 12 was round the fire outside their house, having no other way to cook or get warm. They were hit by a rocket and all are injured. Many ambulances converge at Karmel Adwan to transfer them to Al Shifa in Gaza city which has more resources. The wounded are pushed into one after the other. We have a young man, perhaps a teenager, whose breathing is being done for him by a medic with a handheld pump. I can’t help but wonder if one of the 29 ventilators is free right now. But our driver says afterwards that he probably won’t survive the night.

10.55: We leave Al Shifa to head back to the Jabalia Centre. There is coffee. Mo makes a coffee sandwich, which is just weird. There is a pause in the calls. Hassan asks me about my book, “Nature Cure”; I explain it is about an ecologist’s route out of depression. “People get depressed in the West?” he asks in surprise. Understanding how implausible that must sound right now, I say that many people get caught up in a life that mainly holds work and buying stuff, and without some sort of meaning - religion, or the dream of your land being free, or something like that, people can get very lost.

“Actually Israel is trying to force us into a meaningless life like this,” he says. “Like, sometimes I feel that all that really matters to me right now is a kilo of gas. I built a stove for my family and I feel like I did something amazing.” The discussion becomes animated as all the medics join in, but it’s in Arabic. We have a quiet stretch - again, despite the noise.

1am: This is a call to a woman in labour. V has a similar call. What a night to give birth. The stress is bringing on labour early for many women. Hassan says he should have documents for her to hand in at Al Awda, but they’ve not been allowed through from the West Bank for some time.

At this point I lose track of the time for a while and also get a couple of hours sleep. When I wake I find that A has come back from a grim call. The ambulances were called to the Beit Lahia Salatin area, outside the Mu’a’ia School to assist the Atar family. However the IOF forced them to turn back by dropping a bomb in front of the ambulances and shooting in front of them, so they were not able to access the wounded.

However, as they turned back, a donkey cart pulled in front of A’s ambulance. On it were an older man and woman, probably the parents of the three teenage boys on the cart. One of the teenagers was attempting to shield the other two with a blanket. One of these two had a serious head wound and his eye was detached. The other had an open chest wound, and his arm was partially detached. Despite this he was conscious and shouting. A could see his lungs, one appeared punctured, and the clearly disturbed mother was patting his wounds. Back at the Jabalia Centre, A quietly described how he had assisted the medics to lift this boy off the donkey cart, and in doing so, found his hand inside the boy’s body.

6am: My ambulance goes to three women, waiting in the dark street. They are young and quietly weeping. One carries a boy of about 4 years old wrapped in a blanket. His head flops back and his eyes are half open. I find myself hoping maybe he has just fainted from fright. Eventually I understand, perhaps from the weight of grief on their faces, that he is dead. We deliver them to the hospital.

6.30: several of the ambulances leave again to try again to reach the Atar family. Mine only gets a short way before rubble bursts the tire. This appears to happen nightly. While the medics try to fix it, we see a rocket strike very close to the Ambulance Centre. By the time we get back from getting spare tires, we have been told not to return to the Centre as the shooting is now right near it.

8.15: We return to evacuate the Centre as the army is now very close. People on the streets are running away. We move our base to someone’s shop in a Jabalia main street. No more tea kettle or generator.

9.30: 3 ambulances attempt to reach wounded. We wait to have access co-ordinated with Israel by the Red Cross. Israel refuses.

9.45: Israel broadcasts the message all over the Gaza strip: “for your own safety, leave your homes immediately and head towards the city centre.” Mamy people have been on the streets this past night, carrying children and bundles, and now the number increases. But there are also many people simply waiting at home, without any belief in a safe place. A rocket hits near us while the ambulances are all off. The injured man is pushed into a car, which rushes off.

10.50: We collect an old women from a farming area. She is very distressed and has a bullet wound to her upper shoulder. The medic inserts a cannula into her arm despite the bumpy road.

11.30: We go straight from the hospital to another call. As with many of our calls, locals line the way, pointing the ambulance to the correct turn. A house has just been bombed. Neighbours are frantically dragging out the wounded and the medics cram four people into our ambulance, which is meant for one.

The stretcher place is taken by the dead body, covered in dust, of a man in his 30s. His abdomen is ruptured and damaged organs visible. His legs look as if they no longer contain bones and are twisted implausibly. One foot detaches as he is put in the ambulance. Another man, maybe older, looks to have internal injuries and might also have had injured legs, but the chaos is such that I can’t clearly identify his injuries, neither can I with the man in his sixties, who is shoved into the remaining space. He is in shock, sweat covering his grey face. I helplessly stroke his cheek, wondering if he is about to stop breathing. Halfway through the journey, his eyes focus slightly. I hope not enough to realise he is crushed against a corpse. The injured boy of about 3 is held in the front seat by his father.

At Karmel Adwan hospital, a wail of grief goes up from all waiting there at this scene of disaster. They haul out the living, and we are left with the dead man. We move the ambulance away from the delivery area. Our medic strokes the man’s face. “Actually, he was my friend.” he tells me. “His name was Bilal Rabell.”

We are told that since last night 47 people are dead, 12 of them children, and more than 130 injured. These numbers are increasing as more people are found and as more die from their injuries.

lördag 3 januari 2009

En hjärttransplantation.


De senaste dagarna har tänkt mycket på de sju aktivister från ISM som befinner sig i Gaza. Till skillnad från många av de andra ismarna här på västbanken känner jag ingen av dem personligen, men jag tänker på dem. På hur modiga de är, och samtidigt - på hur de antagligen är just exakt så modiga som de måste vara. Precis som resten av folket i Gaza. För precis som Sharon säger längst ner i sitt blogginlägg, nedan, vad är skillnaden mellan våra aktivister och lokalbefolkningen? Som aktivist kan du välja att åka därifrån. Vilket 400 internationella just gjort. Och därför finns det såklart något oerhört kärleksfullt i att välja att vara där, välja att stanna, när både man själv och alla man känner där svävar i livsfara dygnet runt. Bara för att visa att man bryr sig, för att hjälpa till med det man kan; sin närvaro. För att sända ut sanningen till resten av världen, i en radiointervju, ett blogginlägg, i tv... Jag är oerhört imponerad över det de gör. Vet att jag själv inte är redo ännu, inte skulle ha klarat av varken rädslan eller det fruktansvärda de tvingas se där. Det är något stort, det de gör. Men deras blod om det, gudar och gudinnor förbjude, skulle fläcka marken i Gaza, skulle inte fläcka marken annorlunda än en Palestiniers. Inte bättre, inte sämre; mänskligt blod, punkt. Det är bara västvärlden som försöker lura i oss att det är så.

Att dödandet av civila, som inte skulle accepteras någonstans i väst och som, om det skedde där, skulle uppbringa kraftiga motreaktioner och omedelbar hämnd, "är nödvändigt". Rätten att försvara sig skulle aldrig ens ifrågsättas för en sekund om ett land i väst utsattes. När samma sak händer här kallas de som försvarar sig för terrister. Världens mest tätt befolkade plats bombas oupphörligt i sju dagar, dödar naturligtvis och ofrånkomligen ett stort antal civila, allt medan en markoffensiv från en av världens mäktigaste krigsmakter förbereds. Man skyller det hela på en enda grupp; rent godtyckligt då långt ifrån alla raketer som skjuts mot Israel kommer från medlemmar av denna grupp, och säger att om de agerat annorlunda skulle bombningarna och den kommande markinvasionen kunnat förhindrats. Att det var upp till dem. Ha! En elvaåring skulle inte ha gått på det, varför köper resten av världen den lögnen? Kanske för att det är bekvämt, kanske för att vi inte vet bättre - faktum är att med medias skamliga och föga objektiva rapportering är det ganska lätt att förefalla mindre klok än en elvaåring angående den så kallade "situationen i mellanöstern". Men beslutet att inte förnya vapenvilan, då Israel under hela perioden inte gjort någon som helst ansats att fullfölja sina löften om att öppna gränserna till Gaza så att det faktiskt går att leva där, oavsett vad man tycker om Hamas, är inget annat än logiskt. Varför upprätthålla en vapenvila som inte gör annat än att försäkra att fienden både kan fortsätta att ockupera och förstöra alla möjligheter till liv, samtidigt som han stolt deklarerar för världen hur han vill ha fred? Det finns ingen vettig anledning att göra det och det är tid att väst slutar att svälja lögnerna om vad som händer här och börjar ställa krav riktiga på Israel och inte bara på ett desperat, ockuperat och antingen uppgivet eller argt, Palestinskt folk. Nu, nu, NU.

Nu.

För att elda upp ilskan, bygga på förståelsen och göra er redo för att agera, läs Sharons inlägg nedan, och för mer text gå in på hennes blogg: http://talestotell.wordpress.com/

People have asked me if I am frightened. What I am frightened by is the enormity of these events, at how few international eyes there are here to witness them, and that it is hard to imagine how it will end. In the last handful of days, I have given about 30 interviews by phone, and a couple on camera, to a world outside which my friends are telling me is slowly waking up to this disaster. Yet about 400 foreigners took Israel up on its offer of an exit route through Erez border today, and we wonder what they have planned next that they don’t want outsiders here to witness.

I am so glad to be here, to be a small sign to Gaza folks that people do care about them. And my fabulous friends are sending supportive messages, not only to me but to Palestinians, who cluster round to look at them, and translate them to each other, sometimes in tones of astonishment; and to smile at the footage of demonstrations and vigils. I told a local friend today that Israelis will be demonstrating against their government’s actions on Saturday, and she could hardly comprehend it. (See a Jerusalem demo that’s happened already here.) I look forward to sharing the pictures of this and all the other rallies about to happen, with her and everyone.

Underneath the rockets is a strange place to be, that’s for sure. So far, most of my little ISM group seems to have the same calm response to this crazy scenario, and that is helpful. During the day we will catch taxis (largely to save time as well as for safety) if they are going where we need to go. If we are going to dangerous areas, or at night when the taxis vanish, we tend to walk. We prefer to avoid paying someone to take us somewhere dangerous anyway.

Walking through this ghostly city at night is easier with a colleague for company and consultation. Everyone, including the taxi drivers, take circuitous routes designed to avoid as much as possible both places that have been bombed (as repeat strikes are not the less common for being pointless) or places that might be bombed.

Palestinian Legislative Council
This process is becoming increasingly intricate. Last night, E and I began the route to the hospital as we had the night before, choosing what had been the safeish route then. We didn’t realise (til we found it looming above us) that this route, yesterday watched over by the elegant and massively solid Palestinian Legislative Council, now included its enormous remains. I am awed by how much power it must have taken to destroy it. We stumbled swiftly over the rubble away from it, rockets occasionally lighting the sky above us, in time for us to cover our ears.

About 14 mosques have been bombed since Saturday. Early on, after covering the destruction of the mosque that had also killed the Balisha girls, V and I had to pass a beautiful one in Jabalia. An old man explained we had come the wrong way, and said we had to go back pass what he called the “mosquito”. We did, uncomfortably. I heard yesterday it no longer exists.

Old Governor’s Mansion
There used to be a lovely house overlooking the sea on Charles de Gaulle street, surrounded by one of the few gardens with lush green grass. In August when I was first here, I would peer in through the railings as I passed. I discovered yesterday it is rubble, the white staircase climbing into nowhere now. I am told it was the governor’s mansion from the time of Egypt’s rule here in the 50s, used mostly since the 60s to host dignitaries, historic building. Not someone’s home though. The Al Quds doctors were telling us that most of last nights targets in Rafah were homes.

I was thinking about rubble, and how it all looks the same, though the buildings it once constituted all looked different. And how tiring and sad it must be to clear it by hand, when you maybe haven’t eaten enough or slept enough. Especially if it is your personal rubble.

My uncle phoned today, he was surprised to find that, of all the important things he could have interrupted me doing, I was in fact washing my hair. I haven’t slept a night at home once since the strikes began, but I do managed to the occasional visit for a wash. And to eat jam with a spoon since it is the sole foodstuff at my place.

At least one more emergency medical worker was injured today. Ahmed Eid, 25, was attempting to rescue people in the just-bombed house of the Babish family, in the Sheikh Radwan area east of Gaza city at about 4pm, when Israeli planes took the opportunity for a second strike. 6-7 civilians were injured and Ahmed required stitches to his head. There are unconfirmed reports of injuries to another medical worker. 3 children were killed by rocket attack in Khan Younis. At 1.30 this afternoon, Dr Hasan Khalef from Al Shifa tells us that in the last 24 hours, 20 children have been killed and 112 wounded, and 8 women killed and 135 wounded. Ismail, the third child of the Hamadan family, died yesterday of his injuries.

Gaza people too have grieved for the Ni’lin boys killed by Israeli soldiers for being out on a West Bank demo against the Gaza strikes - 22 year old Arafat, who died that day, and 18 year old Mohammed, who was shot in the head by Israeli soldiers and died of his injuries yesterday.

To be absolutely honest, if this goes on for weeks, I don’t think all of my ISM group will make it out alive. But are our lives worth any more than those of the people of Gaza?


- Med vrede och kärlek, från Nablus

torsdag 1 januari 2009

Soulmate.


Hej alla.

Igår mötte jag min själsfrände, Abed 67 år, här i Hebron. Abed är för övrigt den enda Palestinier jag träffat som säger "four years ago" istället för "before four years", vilket alla här tycks göra oavsett om de i övrigt talar god engelska eller inte. I morgon åker jag. Och det är sorligt. Men jag har saknat Nablus-regionen också, och ser mycket fram emot att träffa Abo Anas med familj. Han är nog den mildaste, mest vänliga människa jag mött. Han är psykolog men, som så många andra palestinier, arbetslös sedan han förlorat sitt arbetstillstånd. Sonen som heter Anas jobbar som sjukskötare på sjukhuset i Nablus, men eftersom check-pointen sedan i höstas stänger klockan nio på kvällen för att öppna först klockan sex på morgonen igen, måste han ofta sova kvar på sjukhuset mellan sina pass. Han är därför sällan hemma med sin familj längre. Sedan, på söndag, blir det en natt i tältet innan jag lämnar detta. Kan inte ens föreställa mig det, faktiskt. Det känns svårt och konstigt.

Ett nytt år har det blivit också. Och som vanligt tänker jag uppmana alla att aktivt göra det till ett Gott, nytt år, snarare än att önska att det ska bli bra. Somehow tror jag inte riktigt att det räcker att önska...nu mer än någonsin. Gaza. Vad göra? När jag kommer hem ska jag storma Iraeliska ambassaden i Stockholm. Och riksdagshuset. Så var det sagt. Hör av er till undertecknad om ni vill hänga på...

Var rädda om er själva och varandra.